You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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