ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
