So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
