If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Randomize
