okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
