It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
