unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
