I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize