the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
