so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
