Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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