the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
