So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
