I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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