At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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