but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
