After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
