This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
