My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
wanna go halves on a baby?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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