So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
