I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
