you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
