i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Pants are for mortals
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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