Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
