I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Two words: blizzard sex
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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