but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
