I think i peed on brittanys purse
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
