Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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