dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
