I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
