There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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