You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Small penises have feelings too.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
