i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
