Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
