you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
