I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Randomize
