Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
