"it" just moved
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
