I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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