Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
