I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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