Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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