i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
