Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize