ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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