Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need to wash the frat house off of me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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