You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
