arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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