i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
