i would punch a child for taco bell
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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