im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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