He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
