She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
