You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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