yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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