you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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