she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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