You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize