his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
