I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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